You are a city I cannot breach

You are a city built of shadowed corners
and mysterious alleys
I long to explore them with my fingers and my tongue
Trace the fine veins in your marble walls and wrap myself in your tapestries
I look at you and I see a dark and sweltering night
pregnant with heat and a full moon
and all the little things I want to reveal
in hushed whispers and languid caresses
But you keep your secrets close
and your walls maintained
with the sharp arrows of your archers
that are careless sometimes
with where they choose their target
And I wonder
if you are even aware

Author: ebonyandcrows

Hello and welcome to my page~ My name is Larisa--a very common Slavic name that was either derived from the Latin word hilaris, meaning "cheerful," or from the Greek city of Larissa, meaning "strong fortress." Born in Ukraine, I emigrated with my family to America when I was still a small child and now make my home in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Growing up immersed in two vastly differing cultures led me to have a burning curiosity about people all over the world. Stemming from said curiosity, I have fallen in love with traveling to other countries, meeting new people and delving into their culture, exploring new cities, and of course, dining on the local cuisine! If I cannot escape into a different country, then my next favorite method of adventure is to lose myself in a spectacular book. I enjoy books of all genres--from fiction and novels, to biographies and ethnographies. As long as it captures my fancy and holds me spellbound the entire time, I will burn through the book like a forest fire! Because of this penchant for reading and travel, coupled with my love of deep and mysterious things, I have been often called a dreamer and I find the title suits me. With that being said, I invite you to stay a while, perhaps make yourself a cup of tea and linger through my posts and feel free to comment or share a thought :-)

84 thoughts on “You are a city I cannot breach”

      1. Yeah, I guess it does. I went to a meditation retreat last year and there was this absolutely enigmatic French girl. So extremely intelligent and with strong common interests, yet so resistant to opening up!

        To be honest I get impatient and give up quite early lol. Other times I just can’t even be bothered with it! πŸ˜†.

        Although, she did eventually reveal things which helped explain why she’d be closed off, which then gives me more patience, but yeah, it’s also frustrating!

        Liked by 4 people

  1. I… am… fucking…. screaming Larisa!!!! Oh my God!!

    I opened wordpress for the first time in two days and this is the first thing I laid my eyes upon.

    From the opening line to the last. Absolute fire. πŸ”₯ The kind of complex energy I need in my life. πŸ™πŸΌ

    This is beautiful. Intellectual. Brooding. Fierce. And a brilliant musing on emotional unavailability.

    Consider this my official favorite. πŸ–€πŸ°πŸ—‘

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Omg I am screaming in response to your breathtaking comment! 😩 😍 How can I even begin to thank you!

      Seriously, not to sound trite, but thank you so much! You are such a gem and you always make me feel seenβ€”that is your gift, I think. I love how we always pick up on each other’s energy.

      Now I’m going to go languidly enjoy my coffee and the high of your comment. β™₯️

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Ps. Coincidentally I’ve been nursing on a poem about the journey to understand a lover who is aloof and guarded.

        Larisa I know you know this already but I would never borrow a theme or metaphor from someone else’s work. I’ve noticed a lot of subtle idea β€œborrowing” (and that’s putting it extra politely) from a couple specific blogs. So just to be safe I wanted to point out I’m not piggybacking off this masterpiece right here. How could I, anyway? This is so perfectly Larisa. I love it. βš‘οΈπŸ–€

        Liked by 1 person

        1. April, I would consider it the highest form of praise and flattery if you were to ever borrow anything of mine. I am excited to read your poem and I already know it’s going to leave me breathless. Also, I love how you and I (again) are on a similar wave of energy and rumination. ✨

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Thank you for saying that Larisa. I feel the same way. It’s been subtly stressing me out to see other writers engaging in what I consider to be very poorly disguised plagiarism on here. It’s made me want to especially careful/considerate.

            Yes, yes, and yes. It’s an unspoken thing with us and I feel it constantly. It’s such a vibe and it gives me LIFE. You’re the best. β™₯️😘 *happy sigh while leaning my chin in my hand*

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Damn. The moment I read the title I gasped in adoration which only intensified as I read the poem. Philosophical, nuanced, intimately gorgeous, gorgeous art! Do you even realise what a fabulous creator you are, Larisa? This is brilliant – and that ending…damn, you slayed it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I swear I just did a little happy dance in my seat with hands clasped and everything when I read your comment, Isha. You are so effortlessly sweet and your comments are always so heartfelt, I feel it through the distances that span between us. Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the poem, mostly because I can relate it to a part of my life now. When people we adore tend to be closed off to us even though we wish they’d open up for us to help it can be both frustrating and very heartbreaking. Sometimes people need space but does it always do them good?
    Again, lovely poem❀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Completely agree. Sometimes I think I am the one who needs space and then when I close myself off, I realize how negative it can actually be for me. I, too, am slowly learning to be more open and to let people in more fully. Thank you for sharing your thoughts β™₯️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Poet! That is so sweet!! Thank you β™₯️ We are each guarded in our own ways and every person has their own unique approach to relationships, so it’s not something I can hold against anyone. Thank you for such a lovely comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Larisa, frankly, I want to wrap myself in these lavish tapestries of your words. I suspect there are few β€˜cities’ that could withstand a siege so deft and beautiful and sensual as yours. I love your metaphor, I love this poem. Those guarded walls that people construct around themselves…

    Magnifique! β™₯️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So good to hear from you, Rachel β™₯️ Thank you ever so much for your beautiful words of my poem, and by extension, me. It would be my delight to wrap you in all the magnificent tapestries and laurel crowns that befit a soul as deserving of it as yours, but words fail me at the altar of your own incredible works of art. Alas, one can dream.

      I hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend. Xo

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I lay upon a bed of sighs and all the ethereal things that glimmer just beyond the twilight in the moments between sleep and waking…

          that’s how your comments make me feel, anyway.

          You inspire me to spontaneously burst into poetry, Rachel. And while on the topic of royalty, I recognize a queen when I see one and you and April carry the most dazzling of crowns.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Ok, so initially I saw this comment on my notifications and was having a moment of glee because I read the first couple of lines and thought you’d written another poem!!! How BEAUTIFUL!!! I mean, seriously Larisa, poetry is in your regal veins. You dazzle me, now let’s go get our bows and arrows, get April, and go on a siege.

            β™₯️β™₯️

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol this comment made me laugh and be exceptionally flattered at the same time ☺️

      Who ever knew that sieges could be so sensual?? Even I was caught by surprise at it πŸ˜‰

      Thank you for the lovely comment.

      Liked by 1 person

                1. Good question lol probably under some shamrock in a glade where grows a fairy circle next to the standing stones in the highlands of Scotland somewhere. πŸ˜…β˜˜οΈ(At least to go on a journey in time)

                  Like

          1. I’m being very sincere. I adore your work, but I also think you’re very kind and considerate of others. Makes your work more special to me, ❀️
            I also understand, I’ve been having difficulty with my comments as well.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. That makes me so happy to hear that, EC! Kindness can be such a rare thing in this world and there have been too many times where it’s what I needed most and there was no one. I realized in those moments that I am a human too and I can start off by simply being kind to my own selfβ€”and then by extension it becomes how you relate to everyone else too. We talk to ourselves in the voices that were used on us while we were growing up, and mine, unfortunately, were critical due to my dad being a pastor and the community holding the pastors kids to an impossibly high and critical standard. Anyway, it took me a long time to realize that I had the power to change that inner voice that always told me I was never perfect enough and it all started out with me giving myself permission to be kind to my own self. Ahh, let me stop before I run off on multiple threads and this becomes a whole novel.

              Like

  5. Such wonderful sensual imagery, and so true – it’s incredibly tempting to pull up the drawbridges and close ourselves off for fear of new hurt and rejection. Yet so often our loneliness can fester and turn rancid, eating away inside – sooner or later we need to lower our walls if we’re to open up and trust in others again. Beautifully expressed, Larisa! ❀️ one of your best yet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow thank you so much for your insightful comment, Tom. You nailed it about loneliness eating us up on the insideβ€”there have been times that I’d close myself off to protect myself but ended up suffering even more from said loneliness. It has definitely been a challenge keeping my walls down and allowing people more access to me than I am used to giving.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely! πŸ™‚ Such relatable metaphors here – everyone has their own precious spires hidden among the clouds behind lock and key, their dark sunken corners where the sunshine never creeps. Sometimes it’s best to wait until they lower the drawbridges to let you in, no matter how long your siege may last.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my gosh, thank you for that compliment! Gah, how my spirit really appreciates that right now…I’ve let too many things get on top of me lately.
        Your writing is gorgeous, this is one of my favourite WP places to visit.
        And thank you so much, we are. And likewise!

        Liked by 1 person

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